On being Smrt

So we're still trying to figure out schooling for next year for P and D. They will be entering 2nd grade and need to spread their wings. M and I have differing opinions on it which makes it tough. Makes me reflect on how my opinions have been formed. I moved around a lot when I was younger. Up until 5th grade, I think I averaged a new school every year. I attended schools in England, India and the United States. Public schools and private schools. Good schools and bad schools. I suppose it was probably difficult constantly changing schools but to be honest, I never really thought about it. Its just what we did. I always did well in school grades wise. I never questioned whether I would be in the running to get good grades - I always just expected to be near the top. My parents valued getting top marks - or really, I should say, my Mom did...I don't really remember my Dad ever being involved. To take it a step further, I think my Mom placed importance on being the best of the competition and coming out on top in however we were being measured. Not necessarily the value of the education. We were never in the best school districts and we certainly didn't move to be in whatever was deemed a "good" school district. M and her family have a different opinion. They want to be in the "best" school district and for them, it seems like if they are in the #15 district in the entire state, it would be a failure. They don't really seem to value the competition as much. I don't think that M or her siblings were ever really at the top of their respective classes but they've all done well nonetheless.

I'm not quite sure what to think. Do I think getting good grades through high school was the ultimate measure of success? Absolutely not, I don't think that was the best for me. I admit that good grades or test scores aren't the ultimate indicator of what leads to doing well later in life. Look at me, I did well throughout but right now at 40, I have no idea what I'm actually good at. On the other hand, do I think being in a good school district is an absolute necessity to future success? No - I believe one can succeed anywhere. Sure, there needs to be a basic floor but seeing some of these hyper competitive parents gives me anxiety let alone what their kids must be feeling.

Anyway, P and D took a test to get into a nearby magnet school this morning. It reminded me of my childhood. I tested into a magnet school and attended all throughout high school. Seeing P and D go into the test did bring out the competitive fire in me wanting them to do well - I wonder if they would feel the same as me expecting to come out on top. That said, even though I may have felt that way, I know that getting into a magnet school or getting the highest test score is not the goal. I would rather that P and D be emotionally mature, are loving and are loved, and feel an inner confidence in themselves throughout their lives.

Not being smrt is not a failure at life by any means.